After the birth of my first daughter in residency, I relapsed with an episode of depression. My clinical skills led me to an accurate diagnosis quickly but it didn’t make it any easier to accept that I could not outrun my genes, personal clinical history and hormones during what was to be such a time of joy and gratefulness for a healthy baby girl. I did weekly therapy and medication which was immensely helpful and tried going off medication after a period of stability but the symptoms came crashing back at exactly the same time after the birth of my second daughter in fellowship. I remember being so scared that I wouldn’t feel like myself again and then so relieved when I could laugh and squeal with my family in a genuine way.
I tell my patients it’s twice as hard to face every day with depression for them as their neighbor . I am so grateful to know a formula that works to keep me feeling well enough to manage being a mom and physician as well as know the immense value of time to take care of myself.